teacher of the year

What's happened after Spring Break?  Am I still alive (a question I get asked frequently from my family and friends)?  How are things going?  In many ways I feel like a new teacher.  I'm laughing more at work, I don't dread going to school, I'm planning again, and I'm thinking about the next school year with hope and optimism. 

Being a new puppy mom has completely changed my life.  I can't imagine what my life will be like when I actually start having human children of my own.  Stella wakes me up in the morning, I'm walking a lot more in the neighborhood because of her, which has allowed me to meet my neighbors, and I'm home by 3 everyday.  My life doesn't revolve anymore around my work.  I'm forced to stop once in awhile, take a walk, play, laugh... in many ways Stella has helped me to regain my life back.  And she has also helped me to become a better teacher.  I'm not as tired, stressed out, irritated, cankerous, or emotionally unstable.  

I feel like I'm able to see my students for who they are and not what they've done (or not doing).  I've made some great friends at work (finally) that I joke with, share recipes with, and plan trivia nights with.  

When I got back to school my principal pulled me aside to ask if I was doing ok.  I was a little taken aback by this question because I didn't know what she was referring to.  I don't remember this, but she saw me the day before break and as she described, "I didn't know if I should talk to you, hug you, or send you home for the day.... you looked broken."  I started to get chocked up as she reminded me of my current state of mind prior to break.  I felt so lost and tired I admitted to her.  I didn't know what I was suppose to do as a teacher anymore.  I felt that I poured my heart out into this year's curriculum for my juniors and seniors and that it was constantly being spat on.  I looked at jobs in the corporate world where my talents would be better appreciated and where I would be left alone.  I was just so lost.

All I needed was a 10 day break and a 4 pound 12 week old puppy to help refocus me.  Coming back from break I've realized again that I'm a damn good teacher who's gift is in curriculum design.  I know how to teach... and how to teach really well.

Today as I was leaving a student who I did not know and who I have never seen before today stopped me between classes.  He told me that he had finished Watchmen last night and wanted to talk with me about it.  He explained that he heard from a girl that rides his bus that I was teaching Watchmen next week to my seniors.  Before I had to rush out of class, he says to me, "I hope that I have you as my teacher next year."  My mind went blank.  I didn't know how to respond.  I'm so used to hearing the complete opposite type of comments come from students.  I just said "I hope so" and left so the next class can use the classroom.  

Based on how this year went with my seniors I'm about 99.9% sure that I won't be teaching 12th grade again.  During my meeting with my principal where she basically asked if I was having a mental breakdown she also informed me that I will be teaching 9th grade next year.  I'm ecstatic.  I love the types of books that students read freshmen year like Romeo and Juliet, Catcher in the Rye, and other coming of age type books.  

I'm a little sad that I won't be teaching Watchmen again for awhile, but I'm thrilled that I won't be expected to teach jaded, chain-smoking, oversexed 12th graders any time soon.  Teacher of the year I am not, but I'm glad to be in a profession where I can impact so many young people to read, to love literature, to analyze for the implicit meaning, and to take a risk on themselves.

x